Yes…..

Kirsten, Samuel, and I traveled to Akron, Ohio on Wednesday and Thursday of this week, where we stayed with Kirsten’s sister and family, explored the area, met with a realtor, and Kirsten had two job interviews. Lord willing, then, we will be moving to Akron shortly. Kirsten interviewed at the Children’s Hospital of Akron and is excited about the possibility of working in the PICU there. Given Kirsten’s experience, etc., we are hopeful that she will receive a job offer next week, and then we can begin the process of again applying for a home loan and attempting to buy a house. Our housing dollars will certainly go a lot further there. I have about 18 resumes out too, and hope to begin getting some response to them soon. I’ve gotten a couple of calls, but nothing super promising yet. We really enjoyed our few days there this week. Kirsten’s sister and her family have a great house there, and it’s just- well- peaceful. It’s a far cry from Philadelphia these days. As always, a lot has to happen in the meantime so that this move can take place. We are leaving our current apartment and its accompanying lease early, and so we’ve been working hard to find someone to rent it in our stead. If no one wants it, we’ll still be responsible for paying for it through March, even if we aren’t here and are paying for a house too. I don’t imagine that will happen, as it’s a beautiful, reasonably priced place, as you’ll see in the pictures below. Kirsten, of course, also must have an accepted job offer for the loan to go through, though again, Lord willing, that should come next week. We then need to transfer medical and case management services for both Samuel and Kirsten’s mom, who lives with us, and we need to have all the funding in place for the move itself and the expenses of house buying, etc. If all goes well, Kirsten will probably start her new job by October 3; so we’ve said we’ll be out of our current place by October 15. Naturally, there’s packing to do in the meantime, and we need to choose a home. I’ll be driving out alone again next weekend to hopefully do that, as the three of us (Kirsten, Samuel, and I) have to travel to upstate NY for a wedding at the end of this month, and will be traveling again when we move, and of course we don’t want to stress Samuel too much with all this activity, etc.
 
It’s all a bit overwhelming, which is ironic since we’re largely being driven to do this by the hope of de-stressing and simplifying our life after all we’ve been through over the past eight months, not to mention the past nine years. As always, I second guess myself and wonder if this is a faithful thing to do. I keenly feel the disappointment of all those we are letting down by doing this- our former church community, our employers, our landlord, etc. I fear that instead of being a faithful move, this is a retreat from the stormy waters that faith led us into- an insular, cut our losses and run operation in which we scramble for some perceived notion of housing and location related security. Nonetheless, somehow I still trust that even if that is the case, it is likewise faith that permits us to make such a "backwards" move- faith in God’s grace for us, the "worst of sinners," even as we act out of our pain. We are very, very wounded, desperate for physical and psychological space and time in which to heal and learn from all that has happened. So, I sing again with Rich Mullins:
 

"There’s more that rises in the morning
Than the sun
And more that shines in the night
Than just the moon
It’s more than just this fire here
That keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger
Than this room

And there’s a loyalty that’s deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegiance
I owe only to the giver
Of all good things


So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can’t, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home

There’s more that dances on the prairies
Than the wind
More that pulses in the ocean
Than the tide
There’s a love that is fiercer
Than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother’s
When her baby’s at her side

And there’s a loyalty that’s deeper
Than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs
That I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes
For the allegence
I owe only to the Giver
Of all good things

 

So if I stand let me stand on the promise
That you will pull me through
And if I can’t, let me fall on the grace
That first brought me to You
And if I sing let me sing for the joy
That has born in me these songs
And if I weep let it be as a man
Who is longing for his home "

 

Home- that is certainly what I’m longing- and weeping- for these days. I know I won’t fully find it in Akron, of course, as home is wherever Jesus is, and Jesus is with me even now, though he has "gone to prepare a place" for me. As I and my family sojourn in this wilderness then, we’re hoping for a bit of respite along the way in Akron.


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