What do you do with “peace” (as represented by the ideal of “home”) once you have it?

I just lost the post that I’m attempting to re-write now, and am very frustrated about it!
We’ve been in Ohio for about a month, and in the house we just bought for maybe three weeks now. It feels very good to be here. This is a working-class neighborhood of small, simple homes (though the larger community of Cuyahoga Falls is relatively white and affluent) and I think it will be a good place for Samuel to grow up in. Being in this house has been wonderful so far- a real blessing to my family, and I am so thankful for it. Moreover, this community has much to offer a relatively young family, and that too is good. Still, as is the case with everything in my life, I carry tremendous guilt about being a homeowner. As a result of the complex nature/nurture matrix in which my personality, temperament, upbringing, and experiences play such a huge part, the laudable idea that no one is truly “home” until we are is twisted in my belief system into the notion that none of us, especially me, should really have a home just yet then. This belief is exacerbated too by my recent experiences living in Christian community in Philadelphia, and I’m sure it will be some time before I have a good sense of what it really all means. In the meantime, I know that God calls me always to follow Jesus, to build his kingdom, and to love and serve those in front of me.
I am still looking for work, as my second interview with the local Boys and Girls Club did not result in a job offer. Please pray that I find something meaningful soon.
I came across an article in the Akron Beacon Journal about local pastor Duance Crabbs, and then his congregation was recommended to me by a friend who used to live here. His is an incredible story about making the hard choices to follow Jesus by living among those he felt called to serve. Some of those choices are very challenging to me as they seem to represent the opposite of choices that I’ve recently made, although of course my journey has been a bit different. Even so, I am inspired by Pastor Crabbs already, and so I recently tried to get in touch with him, and when he called me back we spoke for about 45 minutes. It was a good conversation, and we made plans to get together soon. Christian Community Development Association principles are very important to him, as they are to the leadership of the church community in Philadelphia that I just left. Anyway, I’m excited and will be listening hard to Jesus for direction about what kind of relationship God wants me to have with him and his congregation. I did some research on the internet about him and found a number of articles about his journey, which I’ll include in subsequent posts, as they’re kind of hard to find online.

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